Reflections In The Mirror
by dontgiveahoot
Summary: Shounen ai. Semi-sequel to "I Watch You". The other side of the story... Yuusuke + Kurama


REFLECTIONS IN THE MIRROR.  
  
Reliable, knowledgable,  
"The fox" that's always there  
To help with homework  
Or perhaps defeating a youkai or two  
And still comes home in time for dinner  
Impeccable as always, the perfect son.  
Perfect.  
That's what they see --  
That's what YOU see, isn't it?  
You don't see _me_.  
Even though everyone watches me  
No one really sees me.  
After all, I work very hard  
To make sure of that.  
  
Would it surprise you to know  
That sometimes  
Even I can't see myself?  
When I look in the mirror  
To comb my hair  
It's not my reflection I see.  
Not Minamino Shuuichi  
And not Youko Kurama;  
Not even the medley of both  
That my heart has become  
Through the years  
It's not me I see.  
  
It's you.  
  
At first it was her reflection  
On a much smaller mirror  
As I called upon its deadly power  
To reflect back my greatest desire.  
Her life.  
I touched the mirror  
And waited to die  
As the crackling energy pulled away my life  
Piece  
By   
Piece.  
I didn't even know if the youko would survive  
But by that stage I didn't care about that.  
But you did.  
Another hand joined mine  
As your voice demanded  
That the mirror accept your donation  
And you screamed at me -- at me! to think  
To think of 'Kaasan and how she would feel  
Upon learning of my death.  
"She'll be miserable!" you yelled.  
I hadn't even thought about it  
And for one second  
I stared at you  
Unable to believe  
That someone -- my nemesis, the one seeking me out;  
My Hunter in the Ningenkai, no less --  
Would do this for me.  
And then... there was no more time to think.  
  
When I awoke,  
Everything was as it had been  
And my first coherent thoughts  
Were for 'Kaasan.  
To my later shame  
I ran off to check on her  
And left you lying there.  
And when I returned, you were gone  
How was I to thank you?  
  
I was able to repay you soon enough --  
Thank heavens for that.   
Hiei really had no idea of the consequences  
If he had succeeded in using the Ghostslayer sword on you  
But I did.  
It was just lucky I knew  
Hiei was hiding out in that warehouse.  
I won't lie and say I enjoyed  
Being run through -- it hurt much more than I let you know.  
But I'd gladly do it again  
For both of you.  
My best friend  
In a harsh Reikai prison, becoming even more bitter and hopeless --  
No, I could not allow it.  
And you, and you...  
Death was not an option for you  
I knew that even then  
At the time I was trying to repay the debt  
And thank you  
For your help and your trust in me  
But even then  
I was becoming fascinated by you.  
  
Only 'Kaasan had ever taken  
Such painful risks for me before  
And I am her son, not a stranger.  
At least, that's what she thinks.  
And I will be her son all her life  
It's the least I can do  
And she's truly my mother now, in all the ways that count  
But you...  
You had no reason to believe me  
And yet you did.  
I didn't understand it  
  
If only there were more like you.  
  
And you've never stopped being YOU.  
Were you so surprised  
At what I did in that warehouse that night?  
Why?  
And whenever I am hurt  
You always notice  
No matter how many enemies you're fighting yourself.  
I hear you call my name  
And for a moment, I can let myself believe...  
Even when I failed you against Karasu  
You weren't angry at me  
But angry upon my behalf  
And your hands and voice were gentle with me  
As you helped me to a safe resting place.  
  
Oh, Yuusuke  
Sometimes I wish you weren't so kind  
That way   
My eyes and ears could not persist in seeing and hearing  
What isn't there  
My heart   
Couldn't lie to me  
And tell me that you care for me  
The way I care for you.  
  
You. Love. Keiko.  
And you Don't. Love. Me.  
There, I've said it  
Not that it matters --  
My heart refuses to listen to my head  
Emotion refusing to bow to logic.  
Oh, Yuusuke, 'Kaasan, look what you both have done to me --  
I've become so very human.  
  
And still, whenever I look into a mirror,  
I see my reflection replaced  
By the image of your hand  
Your arm, your whole body  
Leaning over towards me  
Hand on the mirror frame  
Eyes so alive, on fire  
Burning into mine  
Ordering me not to die.  
And for you... I obeyed  
And would obey again.  
  
I can't see myself anymore, Yuusuke. 


End file.
